Greasing the wheel [bearings]

As you may already know, we live on a hauled-water property.  What does this mean?  It means we have to bring our own water in.  No, it is not an area where we have to go down to the stream and bring pans of water up to the house just so we can heat it over the fireplace and use that for everyone’s bath that night.  What I am talking about is that we have a 2500 gallon water tank on our property that is pumped into our house just like city water would be.  The only difference is that we must keep that tank full ourselves.

There are two options for doing this.  1) We can pay $25 for every 1000 gallons to have it hauled in for us, or 2) we can haul it ourselves with our own water trailer.  I am not confident enough in having someone else provide this service of such a life preserving resource, nor am I confident that they won't piss in the tank if they get ticked at me.  So I handle this task myself.  It isn't difficult, I purchased an old water trailer, strapped a couple of IDC containers (totaling ~500 gallons) and a cheap water pump on the front.  From there I simply drive it about 1/4 mile down the road to the downspout provided by the water company, have my daughter, middle smurf, press the go/stop button for me while I hold the hose in the tank.  Then we bring it home and connect the discharge hose to the water pump, fire it up and wait 2 minutes for the transfer into the big tank.  Then repeat the process 3 more times. This takes between one and two hours depending on the amount of traffic at the downspout and how cool the weather is that day.

I have made many tweaks to the overall process since the beginning.  Small things like attaching the main hose to the tank and putting the quick connect end on the pump so I could simply leave the hose on the ground instead of rolling it up between every trip, putting a wooden pallet under the tanks to raise them about 6 inches to reach the hose easier, etc.

Unfortunately with all of my efficiency improvements it wasn't quite enough as I cannot get around the fact that I only have 500 gallons that I can carry and the fact that I can only fill one tank at a time (remember there are two on the trailer implying I have to pull the hose from one to insert it into the other on every fill-up trip).  What I really need is a 1000+ gallon trailer with a single water tank.  I don’t want much more than 1000 gallons because that alone would be 8000 to 9000 lbs.  That’s a heavy load for any truck, especially my lowly ’91 Ford F250.

After searching for about 2 to 3 months through Craigslist and on corner lots I never found one that was reasonably priced.  Then it happened...like an angel playing the violin after a rain cloud just passed...and it was on MY corner lot right as I was driving home.  1100 gallons for a VERY reasonable price!  I did a precursory inspection, called the number, made a run to the bank and met the guy at the trailer.  I looked over everything and found one of the four wheels was VERY wobbly.  I mean about to fall off wobbly.  It could only be bad (or non-existent) bearings.  After listening to the guy's "Yea, it was that way when we bought it...it has been doing that for over a year...it's a little wobbly going down the road, but it works just fine" BS speech, I talked him down some on the price and told him he had to deliver it to my driveway (which was just a few feet away).  He accepted and we were done.

After taking apart that wheel about a week later I found that while there were pieces of the bearing in there, it was reduced to a small handful of the rollers, hair thin strips of metal, and a pile of shavings that used to be something that resembled a wheel bearing.  There wasn't anything big enough for a part number in there!  The entire wheel was being held on by the inner bearing's oil seal and the nut and washer held against the outer bearing's race!  Luckily the axle itself wasn't abused too badly.  At least the situation overall was salvageable.

I was able to pull the races and inner bearings and seal out and take them to the auto parts store.  I won't mention which store I went to but it is very Irish.  Would you believe they actually had ALL of the parts I needed in stock!  Granted, I cleaned them out by buying a set for each side (heck, if I'm doing one I might as well do them both since the other can't be far behind if the first was that bad) but they did have them!

I took them home, got the one wheel put together and started the next.  When I dug into this second wheel, the bearings didn’t' look perfect, but might have been usable still (saving $50).  Unfortunately some numb-nut decided to mix greases when they did this wheel the last time!  It was pretty obvious because of the two different colors of grease present and the "boogers" that had formed into various harnesses of little rock hard granules as the two compounds reacted (apparently).  This would explain why the bearings looked pretty decent (compared to the other side) but not perfect.  This wheel WAS recently redone, but the boners that did the job goobered it up so bad there was no telling how much longer it would last.  Needless to say I made the decision to go ahead and do it anyway.

So...all you future rednecks:  Please...help out the next guy.  I understand not wanting to do both wheels at the same time if you don't have the money.  Heck, I even understand using the wheel as-is when you clearly know it is thrashed.  But if you are going to take the time to do the job, AT LEAST do the job correctly enough so you don't have to do it again in the near future! Simply spending that extra half a penny on the extra grease it would have taken to make it single-type would have saved the next guy (me in this case) that extra $50 in bearings! 

Mommy, Daddy Has a Red Neck!

Finally, we had some decent weather (not 110dF for a change!) so I decided to get a bunch of things done outside.  We started with digging out the pink paint and helping the 5 year old paint the teeter-totter we built the previous weekend.  While she was doing that, I took a pretty good run at some weeds that had been bothering us (and were about 4' tall).  When that was done, I helped her finish up the painting (yes, the VERY pink paint...and the white posts), and then I decided to finally build my teppanyaki grill.

So, this teeter-totter was born in typical redneck fashion.  First, she hounded me about it for over a week.  It sounded pretty much like this: "Daddy can we build a teeter-totter now?   Daddy can we build a teeter-totter now?  Daddy..." I think you get the point.  Eventually I agreed that we could do it in the very early morning of the next Saturday.  That gave me a couple of days to figure out exactly how I was going to pull this off.

Saturday came, and what I came up with was fairly simple.  First, I grabbed a piece of old galvanized 5/8" rod that was left over from another project.  That was to be the pivot point.  I then found the center of gravity on an 8' long piece of 4x4 that I had laying around, and drilled a 5/8" hole in the center of it.  Following that I took a leg from an old swing set that was left on the property when we moved in, and cut it in half.  I then drilled 5/8" holes in both halves, about 2" down from one of the ends.  Then, I buried the other ends in the ground about half way, and filled them with rocks and dirt.I then put the 4x4 in between them, and put the 5/8" rod through the whole shebang (yea...I said it...SHEBANG!).  After that I took a couple of 3' pieces of 2x6, and laid them lengthwise in line with the 4x4, and overhung the ends of the 4x4 by about 1' to 1.5' and screwed them on.  These are for the seats.  I have not added handles yet (I keep promising that...I should get on it) but at least it is functional and we can paint it!  Here is the after picture:



After getting her started on the painting, I went off to cut some weeds.  My weed eater wouldn't start, so I attempted to hack them down with a garden hoe.  Well...as you can imagine, that didn't work out so well, so I fired up the lawn mower.  That worked MUCH better, and I ended up with 2 wheel barrows full of weeds.  That's what fire pits are for!

When I was done with that I decided to finally make my teppanyaki grill.  This is something I have been wanting to do for a long time, and even more so after taking a class at Benihana.  As with most of my projects, this too was about as redneck as it could get.  I scored an old barbecue grill from a buddy (for free) and I gutted the insides (yes, I kept all of that scrap metal).  I went to the metal store (no...this was not something I had laying around already...and is the only cost associated with this project) and I purchased a piece of 1/4" aluminum plate.  I cut that sucker to the correct size using an angle grinder and smoothed the edges with a flapper wheel.  It dropped right in!  I then cleaned and scoured the crap out of that aluminum, and heated it up to as hot as I could get it.  NO WARPING!  Exactly what I was hoping for!  That night we had an AWESOME dinner!  Here is a picture of the grill top and the veggies:

 and some ham:

Yea...I'm awesome!

Since that day, we have used that grill at least every other day.  It is fast for cooking, and allows me to cook a lot of food at one time.  Being able to use oil and other liquids is a big boon to cooking.  I have even made a very large batch of breakfast burritos!  This thing is awesome at heating up tortillas as well!  I have not even touched my other grill...sorry old faithful...

So...at the end of that day, we were sitting in the living room floor playing, and my middle daughter looks at me, turns to mommy and says: "Mommy, Daddy has a red neck!"  Yep...I guess that pretty much sums it up. 

MORE POWER!! (Poles that is)

Mrs. Teknosmurf and I were driving some time ago and the topic came to the front drive and what we are going to do with it.  After driving by some local properties we saw something we both like.  It was a ranch style entrance made out of old telephone/power poles.  Since then I have been on a quest to find something similar and suitable.

After acquiring the proper truck (an older Ford F-250 flatbed), a triple axle trailer, and a chain saw (wow...this is an expensive project already!  Just kidding...this is all stuff I wanted to get anyway) I finally found someone that had a bunch of poles he was getting rid of, and he was 20 minutes away.  As it turns out, the owners of Sossaman Farms (at the corner of Ocotillo and Sossaman roads) acquired these poles when they were doing some street widening.  They were willing to cut me a discount if I purchased all of them.  Of course I had LOTS of projects in mind, so I told them I would take them all.

So then came the logistical part.  That is a lot of poles, and they are HEAVY!  I asked if I could come after work the next day to take a look.  Of course the answer was: "Well...can you do it tonight, or early in the morning?  We are heading up north and won't be back until Wednesday."  My response was: "Sure...but I will have to take the day off tomorrow, and you are going to have to have a tractor or something to help us.  I can't do it all by myself and I won't be able to get help.  I do have a chainsaw to cut them."  "Yes, I have access to a front loader that we can use".  OK...now we have a deal!

The rest of that night I get the trailer hooked up, air up the tires, get all of my tools that I might need, and heavy duty straps and what have you.  By the time I was done getting everything together, it was 10:00, and I had to be at the guys house by 5:00am.  I also realized that with this load my truck lights wouldn't be visible.  So maybe I should get some magnetic lights tomorrow at Walmart.

I get up early and start to head out.  Of course, it's raining pretty good.  Great, this is going to be FUUUUUN!  I get to Walmart and park on the side of the building (because of the trailer) and of course, all doors are locked.  OK...drive around to the front...still locked...great...it says 24 hours, are you kidding me!  Then the guy gathering carts points to the other door.  By this time I am soaked and it is 10 min. to 5:00 already.  I text the guy, and he was actually relieved because now he could get his cup of coffee while he waits for me.

I walk into Walmart and get to the lights...sure enough, $50!  Really? These silly things are $20 at the other store...what gives...isn't this Wally-World!  I relent and decide that I can bring them back if I don't use them, so I will do everything I can to not use them.

I finally get there and we head back to the poles.  Hmmm...this doesn't look to bad.  HA HA,  famous last words!

The guy calls in one of his off-duty farm hands.  This guys had plans this afternoon, and was sleeping in because of the rain, but he finally reluctantly came in.  Turns out, he was the PERFECT guy to drive this front loader!  He was a native Arizonan with a Native American ancestry.  He was VERY dark skinned from working in the sun, on this farm, for the last 20 years.

The front loader already had hooks welded to the top of the bucket, and the chains were sitting in the bucket.  Hmmm..maybe they have done this before?  I guess so...they had so many tractors, both "normal" sized and VERY VERY LARGE ONES!  I about wet my pants when I saw all this hardware!  I was like a kid in a candy store...only it was like mom being there telling me to keep my hands off.  Oh well I still had a blast!

So we start loading these things on the trailer and it becomes apparent very quickly that we will have to make multiple trips.  The guy decides to get his truck hooked up to his car hauler and we also load that trailer.  Great, he is going to follow me down, now I don't have to worry about the lights.  The only problem is I will have to come back and get the last of it because they didn't even fit on two trailers!  BTW, did I mention it is about 9:30 at this point?  He has to leave at noon and his farm hand has to leave at 1:00.

So, we get down to my place with the first run.  Now the fun part.  How do we get those logs off his trailer with no tractor!  Well...this turned out to not be a big deal either as we had a Bronco and some chains.  Yep, you guessed it, a redneck moment is about to hit again!  Wrap the chain around a log and yank!  We got them all off and headed for my trailer.  Mine was MUCH easier as it is a flat bed.  They just rolled right off!

Now we head back up to his place.  I stop by the bank on the way because I haven't had time to get the cash yet.  I pay him and we get to finishing up.  We start cutting the first log and would you believe the newly sharpened chainsaw chain is dull again.  Crap, now what do I do.  I convince them to take me up to True Value down the street, and sure enough, they have 3 brand new chains for my saw in stock!  I bought the farm hand a coke and took the entire stock of chains.  Yep...I'll just bring back what I don't use, but I can't afford to have this be a problem again.

Now...here is a good point to tell you that all morning I have been having problems getting straight cuts.  I told the farm hand after the first cut that I must need some coffee or something.  He said: "Yea, I know, there's a McDonald's down the street to get an ice coffee at".  Of course I answered something to the affect of how "anti productive" THAT would be...first off, it's an ICED COFFEE.  That in-and-of itself is an oxymoron in my book!  Anyway the second cut was also crooked.  This time I blame it on: "my eyes must be crooked".  To that he was just about rolling in the dirt from laughing so hard.  Then the third one and I start blaming it on the chain being dull or something.  Any bets on if he bought that one or not?  Yea...I wouldn't take that bet either.  Anyway, after we got the new chain I had a particularly crooked cut.  He comments: "Well...at least the cuts are getting straighter!"  Of course I immediately come back with: "Either your eyes must be getting crooked too, or you are getting more full of sh*t!"  He just laughed and walked away.  I am beginning to really like this guy and his sense of humor.

Anyway, this new chain cuts like butter!  We get it done and load up the last of my trailer.  By the time I am done, the new chain is almost dull again.  These things are not very gentle on chains!

The guy offers to follow me down since I don't have lights, but I assure him that hand signals will be fine, and I take my chance.  Sure enough, I have no problems.  As a matter of fact, I absolutely love my new truck, trailer, and saw!  These things perform very well, and this truck is a hauling monster! You can hardly tell there is anything connected back there (until you try to stop, but who needs to do that ;) ).

Anyway, now I have a stack of poles as you can see below.  I am about as sore today as my muscles would allow (a good hurt).  Now I have to figure out what to do with all of these!  I do know we want the entry, and maybe even 3 entries.  I also know I want a gantry at the entrance of my shed.  This is to hook a block and tackle up to for lifting things off the trailer.  It will also make a good door stop for the shed doors, and provide a little bit of personalization to the property.  Finally, we are going to line the drive with them to help keep water directed away and also provide a more "homey" feel.

Here is the picture of most the days stash (note there is another pile on the other side behind the trailer):

Yep...one big job leads to another set of big jobs!  I can't wait to start placing them!

Angels are looking after you

This story actually started a couple of weeks ago when I found out about a website called freecycle.org.  I'm not advertising for or against this site, but in this case it worked out for me.  When I first signed on, I ran across an old post advertising mobile home wheels for free.  Since I use those on my water trailer I decided to pick them up...the worst that could happen is I would have to get rid of them.  I got them home and immediately threwthem in the shed, not needing them right at the moment.

Well...a couple of days ago I traded my Chevy Astro for a Ford F250 flat bed truck.  In the course of doing the transaction, and talking a LOT (we are both chatter boxes apparently), the guy mentioned that I could have an old water storage tank he has sitting around, and that he had an old towing receiver hitch for the F250, and that he would simply give those to me if I could use them.  SCORE!

Well...we continued talking and discussing things that we could trade.  He mentioned a big ol' trailer that he has, and I said...hey...wanna trade it?  His wife was standing right there and lit up.  Apparently this trailer has been there for quite some time, and her and their son were ready to get it out of there.  He was hesitant, but I sent him my list of stuff, he picked out an old utility trailer, a cargo carrier, and an air compressor in trade for the trailer.  He was also willing to give me a brand spankin' new 10,000lb winch for it for $300.  Hmmm...let me think about that for all of about....oh....1/3rd of a second!  HECK YA!

So this thing is a triple (yes 3, not 2) axle trailer that has mobile home wheels on it.  He is pretty sure 4 of the wheels are good, but 2 are questionable.  Well...today comes and I load up any decent spare mobile home wheels/tires, all of the things he wanted, my bucket of tools and my bucket of tie downs and head over there after work.

I get almost to his place and to an ATM for the cash part, and I get a call from him.  He says he has been working all day to get that out of his yard (he had various problems) but he succeeded and got the 5th tire to hold air.  The 6th one was in decent shape, but the bead was broken, and he can't get it to seat.  Well...no matter, we'll see if mine fits, and if not, I am sure it will be just fine to get home on 4 tires, or even two.  Well...low and behold, mine actually holds air, and is the correct size!  I let his son slap that puppy on the trailer and it looks great!  I actually have all six tires usable!

We get all the formalities taken  care of, titles swapped, cash traded, etc, and he says that I can keep the tool box that's on the trailer (SCORE 2).  It fits nicely on the tongue.  Next he has his son, and a couple of friends that happened to be over at the time, pull all of this pool fencing out of the back yard and load it on the trailer (SCORE 3).  Mrs. Teknosmurf wants it for her garden.  Then, he says his neighbor down the street is getting rid of one of those 1-Step slide/playground things for free.  Guess where we headed next...SCORE 4!  I tell you what...this guy is really making my week!  At the very end he comes out with a brand new, heavy duty trailer jack AND a rotating mechanism for it, and hands it to me.  Really?  THANKS DUDE!  SCORE 5!

Well...I leave to go pick up that play set, and realize that at 20mph there is a substantial bouncing from the trailer.  I slow back down and it stops.  I confirm one more time.  Then I think...maybe this is just a one speed thing.  Sure enough, at about 25mph it stops completely and is smooth sailing.  I still check the wheels when I stop at the play set...just to be sure.  It is pretty obviously an "empty trailer bounce" and at that speed, everything lines up, synchronizes, and oscillates just right.

After loading up the play set we say our goodbyes and I start strapping it down.  While doing so, some lady drives by and rolls down her window and says: "There is another one of those play sets down the street and round the corner if you are interested...go get it".  OK, cool, thanks!  Well...I couldn't stop by because I needed to get to the kids Gymnastics, followed by an appointment for Mrs. Tekno.  Besides...one was enough.  After strapping it down, I ease out onto the road, and increase speed slowly on the major street...yea...I'm holding up traffic...I also have a Ford Bronco and a massive triple axle trailer, what you gonna do 'bout it???

Well...everything is fine, and I even am able to basically do 60 or 65 down the freeway with no problems.  Trailer tracks straight as an arrow, it's just really friggin' heavy!  As I said, everything is fine...until...

...I get about 5 miles from the Little Tekno's gymnastics (which is clear across town at this point) and the temperature gauge on the mighty Bronco starts climbing rapidly...hmmm...that's not supposed to happen.  I immediately turn off the Air Conditioner and start to pull over to the side and the engine light comes on...hmmm..really not good.  I see a small side street ahead, so I make a bee-line for it.  Just as I turn the corner, the engine completely shuts down and I coast to the dirt side.  OK...this just got interesting.  I have a humongoid trailer attached (and did I mention the jack is broken at the moment, so I can't disconnect it easily?) a dead Bronco, and an appointment that I have to be at for Mrs. Teknosmurf in an hour and a half.  Better start making some phone calls.

I find the broken coolant hose buried deep in the engine compartment (it can't be on top of course...Murphy works very well with rednecks!) coming from a small manifold.  I get Mrs. Tekno headed this way with some extra anti-freeze while I start looking into what I can do to fix this problem.  The crack was right at a bend in the hose.  I did everything I could think of including cutting some heater core hose out and wrapping the leaking hose, plastic bottles cut into strips to wrap around the crack, shortening the offending hose and stretching...nothing was working.  By this time Mrs. Teknosmurf is here and waiting for me...so at least I won't be eaten by vultures or something stupid, and someone will find  my body if I die of heat in this 108 degrees!

Well...I start to pack things up and close up the hood thinking that I will just leave everything and go to the auto parts store on the way back from the appointment.  I turn around, and see something sticking out of the ground.  I pull it up and would you believe it is coolant hose about 4 feet long, and basically brand spanking new!  I dig the cracked hose back out and low-and-behold it is the correct hose!  I can't believe my friggin' luck here!  I dig out my safety wire and twist pliers I have in my tool kit, and use that for hose clamps.  Apparently the clamps that were on the old hose were one-time use only as they distort when they are used.  I fill up the radiator with coolant...spilling half of it on the ground because of a lack of funnel, and fire it up.  IT IS HOLDING!  I turn the "rig" around and park it better so I can leave it for a while.  It's going to be cutting it close to get to that appointment now.

OK honey...let's go...we'll stop by afterward and pick this stuff up.  We race (and if any cops are reading, I mean we did the speed limit and no more) to the appointment.  She walks in and they tell her that the doctor had an emergency at the hospital, and is not in the plant.  We will have to reschedule.  OK...it would have been nice to know BEFORE this stuff happened, but at least we can deal with the Bronco in the daylight!

Sure enough, the redneck fix holds pretty well, and gets us home (with a pit stop for some food).  The trailer is working out well...but would have been better, and actually been used for what I am intending it for if I had the receiver the guy gave me was actually ON the F250 the guy traded me, and the working jack that they guy gave me was installed so I could put the trailer from one vehicle to the other, and the winch (yep...that the guy gave me) hooked up so I could winch the Bronco onto the trailer and simply drive it home.  Oh well, I guess we will have to go that route the next time the Bronco fails (knocking on wood).

I relayed the short version of this story to the guy via text with emphasis on the whole finding of the correct hose laying at my feet.  His response was "Angels are looking after you".  I guess he was right.  Someone really had my back today!  It's just a really good thing the wife had her phone charged and actually had it on her today!  Thanks Babichkin!

A Typical Redneck Day

A couple of days ago was apparently a very typical rednecky sort of day.  I say this because after telling the story to my brother, he was laughing out loud and flat out said that was the most redneck story he has heard in a long time.  So here is what happened, complete with pictures.

It all started at about 5:00 in the morning.  I left the house and immediately stepped on a board in the deck that was pretty rotten.  We have known this was a problem for some time, but haven't gotten around to replacing it.

As you can see from the picture above, the end of the board is in pretty bad shape.  Of course, as soon as I stepped on it, my foot and the board went all the way to the ground.  Luckily, I did not even touch any other board with my leg, so not only did I not get hurt...I didn't even dirty that part of my pants!  Can't say the same about the back of my pants...but that's another story ;)

So, after picking myself up out of the hole, I head over to my car.  As soon as I was about to put the key in the lock, I hear a "click, click, click..." sound.  I thought it was pretty odd that the pieces of board would still be moving, so I went to investigate.  Great...a water leak under the same deck...just what I needed.  And to answer your question no, neither the board or I landed on the piping...it simply was dumb coincidence.

So...I need to go to Home Depot to pick up an electrical box to put a power outlet on the side of the shed that the RV can plug into...I guess all of this just solidifies the decision!  Darn...I have to go to the big boy's toy store....what a shame.  So...after work I head to HD and pick up the electrical box, the conduit and wire, various pieces of wood, and various pieces of PVC piping that I *think* will be what I need to fix the leak.

Anyway, I get home and start working on the water leak.  Since I am the one hauling the water in (which reminds me...I need another blog to update on that progress) I am not going to let any more go to waste than needs to.  This problem is getting fixed TONIGHT! 

In this picture you can kind of see the puddle below the galvanized union.  I start by getting my pipe wrench and trying to unscrew the union.   Hmmm...not happening...I am turning the entire pump, PVC piping, and everything.   Darn...I don't have another wrench that big.  I guess I have an excuse to buy another tool!  Off to Walmart!

As you may know, Walley World doesn't have a great selection of tools.  I acquire the largest pair of Channel-Locks I can.  The jaws on these things open to about 4 inches!  WOW!  I get them back home, hold one side of the union while cranking on the rotating part.  IT STILL WON'T BUDGE!  Seriously?  Am I getting that weak or is the union corroded together so badly that it won't budge?  Well...no matter, it's coming off...this silly thing is getting fixed TONIGHT!

I cut the PVC, unthread the cut piece from the union, and the union from the galvanized pipe.  Yep...it's corroded so badly that it can't move.  Yuck...this is our water supply!  Oh well...I guess that's why we filter it.  Note to self...replace all galvanized pieces when it is feasible (in other words..that was a wasted thought...there will never be a "feasible time").  Anyway, I try threading on the PVC piece onto the galvanized pipe that will be joined to the union...CRAP...the galvanized pipe is 1.25" where the rest of the pipe is 1.5"  I got the wrong one!  Hmmm...time for some innovative redneck thinking...ok...here we go...I can do this...I have been a redneck long enough.

To make a long story short, what I came up with was to thread the old galvanized union back on to the galvanized pipe...this gave me my thread size change.  Then I threaded the old PVC connection back into the galvanized union.  This time I made sure to actually tighten the threads (I swear the previous owners were drunk when they did this job...like every other job they did).  Then I glued a coupler, with a piece of scrap 1.5" PVC pipe, and the PVC union onto the 1.5" PVC pipe to join them.  I let it dry and voila!  No more leak!

Above is the picture of the finished, non leaking solution.  Not the most elegant, and not the most correct, but functional!

While the glue was drying on the PVC, I decided to tackle the deck board.  You saw the rotted board.  Now here is the fixed board:

Of course it is out of place being all new lookin' and ever' thin'...but at least it is in and I used screws instead of nails.  We are tired of the nails coming out.  I have not treated it or anything, but that will come in due time.

As a final project this day I needed to get this silly electrical box in place.  Recently my boss from my previous job called and asked if I would do some contract work for them.  In order to do this, I need a place that I won't be bothered (as is evident by the fact that my 5-year old is talking to me as I write this sentance completely oblivious to the fact that I am not paying attention to her).  In order to get this isolation, I decided the best thing to do would be to come up with a redneck office...my RV!  For this, I can't run the generator all the time so I will need a constant source of power to run the AC and laptop (and fridge for drinks of course ;) ).  Hence the reason for the electrical box.  You can [barely] see the electrical connection on the side of the shed, as well as my new [redneck] office building in this picture:

Well...I crank out the electrical box in about 45 minutes, half in daylight and half in the dark as I (of course) have the power turned off.  Well, I got the electrical done, the board fixed, and got the water leak fixed, all in the amout of time I originally told my wife that I would get the electrical done.  What was it we bet on babichkin?

Well...now off to get the final bathroom finished up.  We have guests coming this weekend and it would be nice to have a convenient toilet for them to use.  Although I am sure the bushes would be just fine, Mrs. Teknosmurf thinks it is a little tacky.

I think this is a perfect time to sign off with a quote from a great commedian...Today was definitely the day that prompted the saying: "Get 'er done!" by Larry the Cable Guy.

I gotta get me a gopher gun.

This adventure started when one day both my wife and I drove home and about 20 little [generically] gophers spread out and ran back to their holes.  I started looking around closer and realized a bunch of little holes all around the mailbox, underneath a large tree right beside the house and around the large, 2500 gallon water tank.  You know...it really can't be good to have a tree fall on your house or your water tank tip and fall into a hole.  Guess I gotta find a way to get rid of those suckers.

Attempt one, a couple of gas bombs that the previous owner left.  I read up on them online and found that you light them and drop them in the hole.  So I did this and covered the hole.  It turns out the "network" of tunnels I expected simply did not exist.  The smoke from the bombs simply seeped out of the ground where the main hole was as well as a couple of leaks in the dirt above the hole.  Not very effective if you don't know if the little guy is home or not.

Next was just talking it over with people and a lot of Internet searching.  The overwhelming consensus was that you really can't get rid of them easily.  Then one of my buddies said, "Just sit on your porch one morning, drink a bear, and shoot 'em!  It's fairly effective, and fun to boot!

So that settled it, time to look about legal ways to shoot them.  The only way I found was a pellet gun.  As best I can tell (the laws are a little vague when talking about laws out in the county) it is legal to shoot a pellet gun on your property.  So....I go to bass pro shop...AKA Mecca...

At the store, there were four guys, including me, around the pellet gun rack talking to the salesman.  Then one of the guys leans over to me and asks, "So what are you getting it for?" I said that I needed something for gophers...he says "ME TOO!"   I guess I'm not the only one that hates those little pests.

I ultimately buy the quietest one they have, the GAMO Whisper CFR.  You can see it in the picture above.  This thing is so quiet that I was outside shooting it all afternoon and the folks in the house had no idea I even fired!  I ended up getting that scope sited in so well that I hit the O on a Coke can from about 50 yards away.  Yea...that will do.  Then I start camping out looking for gophers.

Well...wouldn't you know it that as soon as I am ready for them, they stop coming around.  I took the pellet gun inside and decided to take a bunch of paper out to the burn pile.  I open the front door and I couldn't believe it...strolling right by in front of the mail box...is a GOPHER!  I run back inside, shutting the door very carefully, and get the gun.  I line up in the door frame, using the frame as a rest, warn the family that is sitting in the family room right next to me, and I let one fly.  BULLS-EYE!  I hit that sucker right in the back of the head/neck.  I didn't post a picture because, well, let's face it...splattered gopher brains are not exactly a great dinner topic.

Anyway, that gopher got a proper cremation, and I am ready looking for another opportunity.  And for those of you "purists" out there.  Yes, I did make the tip of the rifle orange.  I didn't want police/traffic that drove by to think it was a real gone.  I have no idea if doing this is legal, but I didn't find anywhere that said it specifically was illegal, and I don't plan to let many people know when I am shooting it, so I don't see any harm in it at the moment.  It's just that we live on the corner of two major cross streets (for this area) and not all traffic are my good-ol'-boy neighbors.  I don't want those city folk to think I am aimin' for 'em!

Shoppin' Like a Redneck

Yep...that's me.  I borrowed a trailer in order to move my powder coating oven (which is an adventure in-and-of itself since it weighs 1100 lbs!) and convinced the people to let me keep the trailer for a couple of extra days.

The story goes like this: I was talking to my redneck co-worker about the problems with my water trailer.  The trailer itself works great.  I can haul 500 gallons at a time and it has no problem, however, the utility company's stand pipe only goes into the opening in the trailer by about one inch.  The problem is that there is so much pressure that it doesn't matter how hard I tie, strap, bungee, or hold that pipe into the opening, the first couple of times it will find a way to force itself up that extra inch and the next thing you know the car, trailer, water pump, and the dummy running the pump are all getting drenched!  On the hot summer days this may not be a big deal, but it could get pretty miserable in the winter.

Well...the brilliant idea that my buddy had was simply "raise the tanks so the hose goes in further".  Really genius?  I think I could have come up with that answer.  HOW do I do it?  Then I started rattling off my brilliant ideas, and he stopped me and said: "Why don't you just get one of those large pallets they deliver our CNC machines on"?  Well...now we are getting somewhere.  He further explained that they are made of 4x4's, 4x6's, 2x8'x, etc, and that they are about 8' wide and up to 24 feet long.  How perfect!  Then he says they get rid of them here at work when we get the machines...make sure to keep my eyes open.

So I left the manager of the machine shop an email.  "Dude, if you have any more of those pallets, I want them!"  His response was that they probably won't get them in a while, but he will call the rigging company to see if they have any they want to get rid of.  10 minutes later I get a response: "They have some...call him tomorrow to schedule a time".  DONE!  I call the dude, he says he has a few, and come get them before 3:00 because he wants to leave early.  DONE!

So I take that big-ol car haulin' trailer to work and park it in the parking lot all day.  Mind you this thing has horse hay all over it, scratches more than paint, and for tie-downs, horse-shoes welded to the side of the trailer.  Those horseshoes were both a blessing and a curse as you will soon see.  Anyway, I had to come up with a way to get those pallets up above the wheel wells because they were wider than the trailer at 8+ feet.  As luck would have it, my place of business did have a few extra small pallets laying out back they were getting rid of, so I stole all of the good ones and made an raised bed.

I get to the guy's rigging shop and see the stack of pallets, and holy cow!  These things were a lot like they said, but I didn't fully anticipate the scale of them until I got there...and they are just throwing them away!  I tried to lift one (just for fun...I knew I couldn't do it) and I anticipated they probably weighed about 600 lbs.  I have no idea if I am correct or not, but it sounded good.  The guy estimated about 800 to 1000lbs, so I told the guy that I wanted at least "these two" and probably "these two also", and "any more we think we could reasonably fit".  Well I got my wish, and I got the four I was hoping for, but it took him 2 different forklifts to do it.  The first one blew a seal while lifting the stack!

Well...he stacks the original four onto the trailer and the poor trailer and van start to sag quite a bit.  I tell him that is all I dare take, and he agrees.  It took me 30 minutes to get it all anchored down, supported appropriately, and all of the magnetic lights put on the trailer.  When standing from the back, you couldn't even tell what kind of vehicle was pulling it!

After dragging this thing to the entry of the freeway, and realizing the electric breaks on this trailer do not work, I decide that slow and steady is the way to go, and the freeway during rush hour is not a smart choice.  It took me 1.5 hours for my normally 30 minute trek home.

So I make it home.  Now for the fun part: How the heck do I get these monsters off the trailer!  I don't have a forklift, or even a tractor yet.  This could be seriously fun.  I realize really quickly that I am going to have to redneck this thing off the trailer.  So I go grab an old loggers chain that my dad used to pull out bush stumps with when I was a boy.  I tied the chain to the bottom-most 4x4 of the bottom pallet, and around the base of a light post that was on my property.  The plan was to simply drive off and leave the pallets where they stay.

So I start driving, and it starts to go...for about 2 inches before the tire digs a hole into the dirt.  Darn...why doesn't that work?  Well...I go back and look at it and those horseshoes that were so awesome when anchoring down the pallets, are now blocking them from sliding off.  Even though the pallets clear the wheel-well, they do not clear the horseshoes that are welded to the top of the well.  Time for more redneck thinkin'.

Now I go grab some 4x4's that I have laying around, and my 3.5 ton jack.  I use one small piece of 4x4, about 2 feet long, and stand it on end on the jack and underneath the edge of the pallet.  I use this to lift the entire stack about 5 to 6 inches up, and slide one of the long 4x4's onto the smaller pallets so as to provide a sliding surface for the stack.  I repeat for the other side. 

Firing up the van again, I back up to get out of my hole, and get a little bit of a "running start".  This time the stack moves quite a ways before the van buries itself up to the axle in dirt.  CRAP...must have hit a soft spot in the dirt.  Unfortunately, the stack is now half on the trailer half off the trailer!  It turns out that a couple of the smaller pallets broke and the bits and pieces got jammed into the stack of pallets above.

So...after digging the van out of the massive hole and using an old 2x4 and some plywood as a new foundation, I now focus my attention on this very awkward, 2000 lb stack of wood pallets.  I again use my small jack to attempt to lift the stack from all different angles.  The best way being on top of the smaller pallets resting in a hole where the smaller pallet broke.  Oh yea...did I mention that it is now dark and I had to bring out the halogen lights to do this?  Great....why do I feel another hospital trip coming on?  I sure hope the wife comes and checks on me if I don't show up for a while.

Anyway, I get all of the sliding 4x4's repositioned to get over the broken pallets, and try again.  This time as I reach the end of the chain...SNAP...CRASH.  Holy crap...what happened...the pallets are still half-on, half-off the trailer!  Apparently it is possible to splinter a 4x4 if you put enough direct pressure from a chain onto it.  That whole 4x4 support on the bottom pallet gave way right in the center.  Darn...that was one of the good ones too!

Oh well...re-mount the chain, dig the van out one last time, and try again...we have been doing this about 4 hours now.  Time to get it done.  This time, I hit the gas on the van and it just pulls away like no problem...I did it!  Well...almost.

Now that the stack is on the ground, I really need to have it elevated to keep the termites out, and to make sure the water drains.  Luckily the jack will fit under the main deck of the bottom pallet because it is standing off the ground by it's own 4x4 framing.  I jack it up and set it on cinder blocks.  Now I have a massive pile of very good, usable wood that I can disassemble and use for projects like raising the tanks on the water trailer and building a tree-house for the kids.  Not to mention building a gantry for a hoist that I can use to pick stuff off the trailers.

Anyway, I return the trailer to it's owner and tell him that he needs to get those electric breaks fixed.  His comment was: "Why?".  Well...because of people like me!.  His response: "Well...if you would pull it with something that isn't a toy you wouldn't have that problem!"  Then I tell him about my adventure getting the pallets off.  He said: "Why didn't you just cut the horseshoe off and re-weld it when you were done?".  I told him that I had seriously considered it, but didn't want to tear up his trailer if I didn't have to.  He was literally laughing at me after that one, with a response of: "Next time, just cut the damn horseshoe off!"  YES SIR!

Anyway, that turned out to be a bunch of redneck projects all wrapped up into one big project.  Yes, I still think I can handle this redneck thing and I will enjoy it!  BTW, I still have this mobile home carcase and a couple of axles (with breaks).  I think one of my later projects needs to be a big-a$$ trailer.  I have borrowed two different ones lately I am loving those things.  I think it is time for my own.  Heck...it's not like I don't have enough wood to cover the deck of that trailer now too!