Thursday, July 19, 2012

A Typical Redneck Day

A couple of days ago was apparently a very typical rednecky sort of day.  I say this because after telling the story to my brother, he was laughing out loud and flat out said that was the most redneck story he has heard in a long time.  So here is what happened, complete with pictures.

It all started at about 5:00 in the morning.  I left the house and immediately stepped on a board in the deck that was pretty rotten.  We have known this was a problem for some time, but haven't gotten around to replacing it.

As you can see from the picture above, the end of the board is in pretty bad shape.  Of course, as soon as I stepped on it, my foot and the board went all the way to the ground.  Luckily, I did not even touch any other board with my leg, so not only did I not get hurt...I didn't even dirty that part of my pants!  Can't say the same about the back of my pants...but that's another story ;)

So, after picking myself up out of the hole, I head over to my car.  As soon as I was about to put the key in the lock, I hear a "click, click, click..." sound.  I thought it was pretty odd that the pieces of board would still be moving, so I went to investigate.  Great...a water leak under the same deck...just what I needed.  And to answer your question no, neither the board or I landed on the simply was dumb coincidence.

So...I need to go to Home Depot to pick up an electrical box to put a power outlet on the side of the shed that the RV can plug into...I guess all of this just solidifies the decision!  Darn...I have to go to the big boy's toy store....what a shame.  So...after work I head to HD and pick up the electrical box, the conduit and wire, various pieces of wood, and various pieces of PVC piping that I *think* will be what I need to fix the leak.

Anyway, I get home and start working on the water leak.  Since I am the one hauling the water in (which reminds me...I need another blog to update on that progress) I am not going to let any more go to waste than needs to.  This problem is getting fixed TONIGHT! 

In this picture you can kind of see the puddle below the galvanized union.  I start by getting my pipe wrench and trying to unscrew the union.   Hmmm...not happening...I am turning the entire pump, PVC piping, and everything.   Darn...I don't have another wrench that big.  I guess I have an excuse to buy another tool!  Off to Walmart!

As you may know, Walley World doesn't have a great selection of tools.  I acquire the largest pair of Channel-Locks I can.  The jaws on these things open to about 4 inches!  WOW!  I get them back home, hold one side of the union while cranking on the rotating part.  IT STILL WON'T BUDGE!  Seriously?  Am I getting that weak or is the union corroded together so badly that it won't budge? matter, it's coming off...this silly thing is getting fixed TONIGHT!

I cut the PVC, unthread the cut piece from the union, and the union from the galvanized pipe.'s corroded so badly that it can't move.  Yuck...this is our water supply!  Oh well...I guess that's why we filter it.  Note to self...replace all galvanized pieces when it is feasible (in other words..that was a wasted thought...there will never be a "feasible time").  Anyway, I try threading on the PVC piece onto the galvanized pipe that will be joined to the union...CRAP...the galvanized pipe is 1.25" where the rest of the pipe is 1.5"  I got the wrong one!  Hmmm...time for some innovative redneck we go...I can do this...I have been a redneck long enough.

To make a long story short, what I came up with was to thread the old galvanized union back on to the galvanized pipe...this gave me my thread size change.  Then I threaded the old PVC connection back into the galvanized union.  This time I made sure to actually tighten the threads (I swear the previous owners were drunk when they did this every other job they did).  Then I glued a coupler, with a piece of scrap 1.5" PVC pipe, and the PVC union onto the 1.5" PVC pipe to join them.  I let it dry and voila!  No more leak!

Above is the picture of the finished, non leaking solution.  Not the most elegant, and not the most correct, but functional!

While the glue was drying on the PVC, I decided to tackle the deck board.  You saw the rotted board.  Now here is the fixed board:
Of course it is out of place being all new lookin' and ever' thin'...but at least it is in and I used screws instead of nails.  We are tired of the nails coming out.  I have not treated it or anything, but that will come in due time.

As a final project this day I needed to get this silly electrical box in place.  Recently my boss from my previous job called and asked if I would do some contract work for them.  In order to do this, I need a place that I won't be bothered (as is evident by the fact that my 5-year old is talking to me as I write this sentance completely oblivious to the fact that I am not paying attention to her).  In order to get this isolation, I decided the best thing to do would be to come up with a redneck RV!  For this, I can't run the generator all the time so I will need a constant source of power to run the AC and laptop (and fridge for drinks of course ;) ).  Hence the reason for the electrical box.  You can [barely] see the electrical connection on the side of the shed, as well as my new [redneck] office building in this picture:

Well...I crank out the electrical box in about 45 minutes, half in daylight and half in the dark as I (of course) have the power turned off.  Well, I got the electrical done, the board fixed, and got the water leak fixed, all in the amout of time I originally told my wife that I would get the electrical done.  What was it we bet on babichkin? off to get the final bathroom finished up.  We have guests coming this weekend and it would be nice to have a convenient toilet for them to use.  Although I am sure the bushes would be just fine, Mrs. Teknosmurf thinks it is a little tacky.

I think this is a perfect time to sign off with a quote from a great commedian...Today was definitely the day that prompted the saying: "Get 'er done!" by Larry the Cable Guy.


  1. You make me and all other Kansans proud. But the fact that you only made one trip to HD to "Get r Done" is kind of odd and the fact there was no mention of beer is alarming.

    1. Well keep in mind that I made an HD trip, a Walmart trip, and I used scrap that I had laying around. I believe that fills the requireent! Also, I did mention the fridge for "drinks"...isn't that close?