Sunday, July 28, 2013

The Fly Ninja

One of many things that has always fascinated me about Mrs. Smurf is her uncanny ability to kill flies and other bugs.  She has long become the de facto bug killer of flying things in our house.  While I maintain the official title of the crawly creature get-r-rid-r, she is definitely the more adept as knocking things down from the atmosphere.

Why the "Fly Ninja" designation?  Well...let’s just say the flies never see it coming!  Once she gets that fly swatter in hand, she has the perfect combination of grace and speed to very gently sneak up on a fly from any direction until about a foot or two away and then...WHACK!  That poor trespasser never saw it coming!

But it doesn't stop there...

I have seen her on numerous occasions walk by something that was flying and simply pluck it out of the air!  Not kill it...just grab it in one hand and toss it outside!  I think maybe I have done that trick one time my entire life and that was pure luck.  This chick does it repeatedly...maybe not perfectly, but certainly notably often.

And what if a fly does happen to get the best of her because it won't land anywhere "swattable"?  Well...that has a simple ninja-like solution as well.  Just knock it silly so you can subsequently swat it!  It's a matter of just swinging so hard you would think her arm would fly off. But wait, not only does it stay attached, that fly is now dizzy and falling to the ground like a vertically throw knuckle ball.  It must be those bony hands of hers.  I am significantly more strong/powerful than she is, but I have NEVER ONCE swatted at a fly with my hands and had it drop to the floor in a dizzy, almost blacked out state.  Yet I have seen her do it numerous times with her hands or fly swatters or slippers or rolled up magazine, or whatever was handy.  Granted, on a couple of occasions a light bulb has become an unwitting recipient of a pretty nasty beating because of this action, but it is only because of the Fly Ninja's state of hyper-focus when tracking the flying intruders.

I am not sure how Mrs. Smurf acquired her superpower.  Could it be the fact that she grew up as a kid in an area that did not have air conditioning, was forced to keep the windows open, and didn't have many toys to play with?  Could it be the fact that she blows up like a balloon with every mosquito bite and thus it is a self defense mechanism?  Is it maybe the sheer thrill of having ultimate power over an intruder that has invaded her castle?  What about the possibility of being bitten by a flying animal that was exposed to nuclear material and now she has the power of Fly Ninja?

Whatever the cause/reason, it is evident that she thoroughly enjoys combating these annoying dive-bombers and I am more than happy to let her.

Happy Hunting Mrs. Smurf!

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