Could This be my New Religion?

Ok, so mustachianism doesn't actually exist. That doesn't mean it isn't extremely important!

Lately I have been following the Mr. Money Moustache blogs. This guy could be a clone of me in a different life. He is a Software Engineer that retired early (yes...I'm still working on that one...but getting closer). He believes that the way to financial independance is though frugality. He likes to blog. He found the book "The Magic of Thinking Big" to be life changing. And finally he writes in: "a scratchy and compact font done entirely in capitals" that are presumably difficult to read (since he is an engineer after all). Ahhh yes...a man after my own heart.

And so we don't get to wrapped up in a bromance with a guy I have never met: Let's just say that I have given him a lot of my attention and his "prechings" are after my own heart. I hope that by including a link in my blog more people learn from his wise teachings.

Thank you Mr. Money Mustache, and keep up the good work!

Visit his pages here:
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com

I'm Living the Liberal Life - Benefits of Living Like a Redneck

Ok, before people get all bent out of shape and say things like "Hey Tekno...that's not very redneck like!" or "Aren't rednecks typically supposed to be gun-toting, hard working hill-billies?"  Well...yes...you are correct.  And I'm not even going to argue it.  I'm also not going to try to convince anyone that I am liberal or conservative or any other dumb-a$$ political affiliation.  I don't like politics or discussions about them.  I know what I believe is right and wrong, and this blog is not going to "go there" deliberately.

With that nonsense is out of the way, let's get on with the good stuff...shall we?

Why the title?  Well...because that is the comment I made today that almost made my family spit water out of their noses.  It all started by me describing what it was like to have converted to redneckism.  I then went on to list some of the benefits that we have gained, which is in no small part a chunk of the reason WHY we are doing this redneck thing.

As I have mentioned before, we weren't forced into this lifestyle.  We were not forced out of our house; we were not going hungry because of our overblown payments or anything.  We had all of our cars paid off.  Etc. Etc. Etc.  We chose this because we wanted to.  The main deciding factors were (among other things):
1) We wanted to make sure that in the down economy, if I were to be laid off we could survive a long time on the savings we have accumulated.
2) I wanted to retire as soon as possible.  This means we have to have everything paid off and our bills as low as possible.  The only way to do this was to buy a house that we could get paid off A.S.A.P.  The market was ripe, so that was the time to pull the trigger.
3) I hate gym's and workout memberships.  If I need to wear myself out, I feel I should be doing it by using that energy constructively.  Yea...about 2.5 acres should cure all of my workout needs.
4) We wanted to cut back to a bit of a smaller domicile.  It turns out that two levels in a 3000 sq. ft. house was just not for us.  It was too much to clean, but not enough room to do anything.
5) Restrictive HOA's with double-standards were about to make me "go postal".
6) My garage "shop" and tool collection were just outgrowing that 3-car garage...I NEED LAND (and a barn) BABY!

So we found it and bought it while the getting’ was good.

Next came the unexpected part...and this is where I start going against some of my values, but only because it "makes sense" and fits right in with other parts of my values.

First we had to deal with the old house.  We have to sell this monster.  Of course it will be a short sale because before I wisened-up to the ways of living frugally, we purchased it at the height of the bubble.  Now it was worth less than half what we owed on it.  Well...short sale it is.  So we listed it and found a buyer.  Of course, the bank wasn't going to play nice...why would they?  So we put a stipulation on our realtor: "Do NOT, under any circumstances, request an extension to the short sale before the bank forecloses". Why would we make such a stipulation?  Well...it all boils down to taking advantage of incentives that are available to us.  While I don't necessarily like the fact that all of this stuff has been made available and easy for the general public, since it is here I won't turn it down.  See my conflicting values at work here???  What we determined is that it would actually be MORE BENEFICIAL to go into foreclosure by the end of that year than it would be to have the bank drag their feet for that extra two months and foreclose the following year.  It was a simple tax decision.  If we unloaded the house that year as opposed to the next year, we would be taking advantage of the laws that said we would not be responsible for the taxes associated with the capital gains we would have acquired on the house price difference.  Basically, that would have equated to something along the lines of $30,000 to $40,000.  That is worth the credit hit since we don't plan to use credit anymore anyway.

The next thing we are enjoying as part of this new lifestyle is all of the "freebies" we are getting.  I know what you are asking: What...  How...  Why...?  Yes, I said it.  We are getting a lot more freebies.  I'm not going to go out and ask for anything. I actually find that very, very hard to do and it makes me physically sick to my stomach.  The way we end up with this stuff is because people, mostly liberally minded people, ASSUME way too much!  And I am certainly not going to pass opportunities like that up!

Why did this freebie parade start happening?  It's pretty easy actually.  All you have to do is pretend to be poor.  When we took on this redneck lifestyle, we sucked it in lock-stock-and-barrel.  I typically dress like I am working hard.  You know greasy shirt, torn jeans, and crap all over my face and arms...then I go to Wal-Mart and ask for a price-match on milk.  Eight times out of ten the cashier will go ahead and price-match every item they know about that we are purchasing.  However, if I stop by after work in my dressier clothes, this generosity rarely happens.  The same thing happens with Mrs. Smurf.  If she puts on makeup and is by herself there is not much cooperation from the cashier.  However, if she goes in wearing cutoff jean-shorts and a tank top with three kids and no makeup...bring on the unsolicited price matching!  I equate this to the begger on the street, but not to that extreme.  Again, I cannot go asking/begging, but if someone were to walk up to me on the street and hand me $5 and say “here…go have a hot meal”, I would probably not turn it down.

There are other things that happen as well: discounts on carpet installation, discount on kids classes, etc, but I don't want to bore people to sleep, so we will leave it at that.  Needless to say, when I say that we are "living the liberal life" I don't mean we are choosing political sides.  All I am saying is that I am going to take advantage of the generosity offered by not only our neighbors, but also our government.  I just can't bring myself to pass up some of these kinds of opportunities when they are just sitting there asking for me to bite.  I did not ask for them, or vote for them, but I would be a damn fool to not take advantage of what they want to give me.

The Fly Ninja

One of many things that has always fascinated me about Mrs. Smurf is her uncanny ability to kill flies and other bugs.  She has long become the de facto bug killer of flying things in our house.  While I maintain the official title of the crawly creature get-r-rid-r, she is definitely the more adept as knocking things down from the atmosphere.

Why the "Fly Ninja" designation?  Well...let’s just say the flies never see it coming!  Once she gets that fly swatter in hand, she has the perfect combination of grace and speed to very gently sneak up on a fly from any direction until about a foot or two away and then...WHACK!  That poor trespasser never saw it coming!

But it doesn't stop there...

I have seen her on numerous occasions walk by something that was flying and simply pluck it out of the air!  Not kill it...just grab it in one hand and toss it outside!  I think maybe I have done that trick one time my entire life and that was pure luck.  This chick does it repeatedly...maybe not perfectly, but certainly notably often.

And what if a fly does happen to get the best of her because it won't land anywhere "swattable"?  Well...that has a simple ninja-like solution as well.  Just knock it silly so you can subsequently swat it!  It's a matter of just swinging so hard you would think her arm would fly off. But wait, not only does it stay attached, that fly is now dizzy and falling to the ground like a vertically throw knuckle ball.  It must be those bony hands of hers.  I am significantly more strong/powerful than she is, but I have NEVER ONCE swatted at a fly with my hands and had it drop to the floor in a dizzy, almost blacked out state.  Yet I have seen her do it numerous times with her hands or fly swatters or slippers or rolled up magazine, or whatever was handy.  Granted, on a couple of occasions a light bulb has become an unwitting recipient of a pretty nasty beating because of this action, but it is only because of the Fly Ninja's state of hyper-focus when tracking the flying intruders.

I am not sure how Mrs. Smurf acquired her superpower.  Could it be the fact that she grew up as a kid in an area that did not have air conditioning, was forced to keep the windows open, and didn't have many toys to play with?  Could it be the fact that she blows up like a balloon with every mosquito bite and thus it is a self defense mechanism?  Is it maybe the sheer thrill of having ultimate power over an intruder that has invaded her castle?  What about the possibility of being bitten by a flying animal that was exposed to nuclear material and now she has the power of Fly Ninja?

Whatever the cause/reason, it is evident that she thoroughly enjoys combating these annoying dive-bombers and I am more than happy to let her.

Happy Hunting Mrs. Smurf!

Greasing the wheel [bearings]

As you may already know, we live on a hauled-water property.  What does this mean?  It means we have to bring our own water in.  No, it is not an area where we have to go down to the stream and bring pans of water up to the house just so we can heat it over the fireplace and use that for everyone’s bath that night.  What I am talking about is that we have a 2500 gallon water tank on our property that is pumped into our house just like city water would be.  The only difference is that we must keep that tank full ourselves.

There are two options for doing this.  1) We can pay $25 for every 1000 gallons to have it hauled in for us, or 2) we can haul it ourselves with our own water trailer.  I am not confident enough in having someone else provide this service of such a life preserving resource, nor am I confident that they won't piss in the tank if they get ticked at me.  So I handle this task myself.  It isn't difficult, I purchased an old water trailer, strapped a couple of IDC containers (totaling ~500 gallons) and a cheap water pump on the front.  From there I simply drive it about 1/4 mile down the road to the downspout provided by the water company, have my daughter, middle smurf, press the go/stop button for me while I hold the hose in the tank.  Then we bring it home and connect the discharge hose to the water pump, fire it up and wait 2 minutes for the transfer into the big tank.  Then repeat the process 3 more times. This takes between one and two hours depending on the amount of traffic at the downspout and how cool the weather is that day.

I have made many tweaks to the overall process since the beginning.  Small things like attaching the main hose to the tank and putting the quick connect end on the pump so I could simply leave the hose on the ground instead of rolling it up between every trip, putting a wooden pallet under the tanks to raise them about 6 inches to reach the hose easier, etc.

Unfortunately with all of my efficiency improvements it wasn't quite enough as I cannot get around the fact that I only have 500 gallons that I can carry and the fact that I can only fill one tank at a time (remember there are two on the trailer implying I have to pull the hose from one to insert it into the other on every fill-up trip).  What I really need is a 1000+ gallon trailer with a single water tank.  I don’t want much more than 1000 gallons because that alone would be 8000 to 9000 lbs.  That’s a heavy load for any truck, especially my lowly ’91 Ford F250.

After searching for about 2 to 3 months through Craigslist and on corner lots I never found one that was reasonably priced.  Then it happened...like an angel playing the violin after a rain cloud just passed...and it was on MY corner lot right as I was driving home.  1100 gallons for a VERY reasonable price!  I did a precursory inspection, called the number, made a run to the bank and met the guy at the trailer.  I looked over everything and found one of the four wheels was VERY wobbly.  I mean about to fall off wobbly.  It could only be bad (or non-existent) bearings.  After listening to the guy's "Yea, it was that way when we bought it...it has been doing that for over a year...it's a little wobbly going down the road, but it works just fine" BS speech, I talked him down some on the price and told him he had to deliver it to my driveway (which was just a few feet away).  He accepted and we were done.

After taking apart that wheel about a week later I found that while there were pieces of the bearing in there, it was reduced to a small handful of the rollers, hair thin strips of metal, and a pile of shavings that used to be something that resembled a wheel bearing.  There wasn't anything big enough for a part number in there!  The entire wheel was being held on by the inner bearing's oil seal and the nut and washer held against the outer bearing's race!  Luckily the axle itself wasn't abused too badly.  At least the situation overall was salvageable.

I was able to pull the races and inner bearings and seal out and take them to the auto parts store.  I won't mention which store I went to but it is very Irish.  Would you believe they actually had ALL of the parts I needed in stock!  Granted, I cleaned them out by buying a set for each side (heck, if I'm doing one I might as well do them both since the other can't be far behind if the first was that bad) but they did have them!

I took them home, got the one wheel put together and started the next.  When I dug into this second wheel, the bearings didn’t' look perfect, but might have been usable still (saving $50).  Unfortunately some numb-nut decided to mix greases when they did this wheel the last time!  It was pretty obvious because of the two different colors of grease present and the "boogers" that had formed into various harnesses of little rock hard granules as the two compounds reacted (apparently).  This would explain why the bearings looked pretty decent (compared to the other side) but not perfect.  This wheel WAS recently redone, but the boners that did the job goobered it up so bad there was no telling how much longer it would last.  Needless to say I made the decision to go ahead and do it anyway.

So...all you future rednecks:  Please...help out the next guy.  I understand not wanting to do both wheels at the same time if you don't have the money.  Heck, I even understand using the wheel as-is when you clearly know it is thrashed.  But if you are going to take the time to do the job, AT LEAST do the job correctly enough so you don't have to do it again in the near future! Simply spending that extra half a penny on the extra grease it would have taken to make it single-type would have saved the next guy (me in this case) that extra $50 in bearings! 

Mommy, Daddy Has a Red Neck!

Finally, we had some decent weather (not 110dF for a change!) so I decided to get a bunch of things done outside.  We started with digging out the pink paint and helping the 5 year old paint the teeter-totter we built the previous weekend.  While she was doing that, I took a pretty good run at some weeds that had been bothering us (and were about 4' tall).  When that was done, I helped her finish up the painting (yes, the VERY pink paint...and the white posts), and then I decided to finally build my teppanyaki grill.

So, this teeter-totter was born in typical redneck fashion.  First, she hounded me about it for over a week.  It sounded pretty much like this: "Daddy can we build a teeter-totter now?   Daddy can we build a teeter-totter now?  Daddy..." I think you get the point.  Eventually I agreed that we could do it in the very early morning of the next Saturday.  That gave me a couple of days to figure out exactly how I was going to pull this off.

Saturday came, and what I came up with was fairly simple.  First, I grabbed a piece of old galvanized 5/8" rod that was left over from another project.  That was to be the pivot point.  I then found the center of gravity on an 8' long piece of 4x4 that I had laying around, and drilled a 5/8" hole in the center of it.  Following that I took a leg from an old swing set that was left on the property when we moved in, and cut it in half.  I then drilled 5/8" holes in both halves, about 2" down from one of the ends.  Then, I buried the other ends in the ground about half way, and filled them with rocks and dirt.I then put the 4x4 in between them, and put the 5/8" rod through the whole shebang (yea...I said it...SHEBANG!).  After that I took a couple of 3' pieces of 2x6, and laid them lengthwise in line with the 4x4, and overhung the ends of the 4x4 by about 1' to 1.5' and screwed them on.  These are for the seats.  I have not added handles yet (I keep promising that...I should get on it) but at least it is functional and we can paint it!  Here is the after picture:



After getting her started on the painting, I went off to cut some weeds.  My weed eater wouldn't start, so I attempted to hack them down with a garden hoe.  Well...as you can imagine, that didn't work out so well, so I fired up the lawn mower.  That worked MUCH better, and I ended up with 2 wheel barrows full of weeds.  That's what fire pits are for!

When I was done with that I decided to finally make my teppanyaki grill.  This is something I have been wanting to do for a long time, and even more so after taking a class at Benihana.  As with most of my projects, this too was about as redneck as it could get.  I scored an old barbecue grill from a buddy (for free) and I gutted the insides (yes, I kept all of that scrap metal).  I went to the metal store (no...this was not something I had laying around already...and is the only cost associated with this project) and I purchased a piece of 1/4" aluminum plate.  I cut that sucker to the correct size using an angle grinder and smoothed the edges with a flapper wheel.  It dropped right in!  I then cleaned and scoured the crap out of that aluminum, and heated it up to as hot as I could get it.  NO WARPING!  Exactly what I was hoping for!  That night we had an AWESOME dinner!  Here is a picture of the grill top and the veggies:

 and some ham:

Yea...I'm awesome!

Since that day, we have used that grill at least every other day.  It is fast for cooking, and allows me to cook a lot of food at one time.  Being able to use oil and other liquids is a big boon to cooking.  I have even made a very large batch of breakfast burritos!  This thing is awesome at heating up tortillas as well!  I have not even touched my other grill...sorry old faithful...

So...at the end of that day, we were sitting in the living room floor playing, and my middle daughter looks at me, turns to mommy and says: "Mommy, Daddy has a red neck!"  Yep...I guess that pretty much sums it up. 

MORE POWER!! (Poles that is)

Mrs. Teknosmurf and I were driving some time ago and the topic came to the front drive and what we are going to do with it.  After driving by some local properties we saw something we both like.  It was a ranch style entrance made out of old telephone/power poles.  Since then I have been on a quest to find something similar and suitable.

After acquiring the proper truck (an older Ford F-250 flatbed), a triple axle trailer, and a chain saw (wow...this is an expensive project already!  Just kidding...this is all stuff I wanted to get anyway) I finally found someone that had a bunch of poles he was getting rid of, and he was 20 minutes away.  As it turns out, the owners of Sossaman Farms (at the corner of Ocotillo and Sossaman roads) acquired these poles when they were doing some street widening.  They were willing to cut me a discount if I purchased all of them.  Of course I had LOTS of projects in mind, so I told them I would take them all.

So then came the logistical part.  That is a lot of poles, and they are HEAVY!  I asked if I could come after work the next day to take a look.  Of course the answer was: "Well...can you do it tonight, or early in the morning?  We are heading up north and won't be back until Wednesday."  My response was: "Sure...but I will have to take the day off tomorrow, and you are going to have to have a tractor or something to help us.  I can't do it all by myself and I won't be able to get help.  I do have a chainsaw to cut them."  "Yes, I have access to a front loader that we can use".  OK...now we have a deal!

The rest of that night I get the trailer hooked up, air up the tires, get all of my tools that I might need, and heavy duty straps and what have you.  By the time I was done getting everything together, it was 10:00, and I had to be at the guys house by 5:00am.  I also realized that with this load my truck lights wouldn't be visible.  So maybe I should get some magnetic lights tomorrow at Walmart.

I get up early and start to head out.  Of course, it's raining pretty good.  Great, this is going to be FUUUUUN!  I get to Walmart and park on the side of the building (because of the trailer) and of course, all doors are locked.  OK...drive around to the front...still locked...great...it says 24 hours, are you kidding me!  Then the guy gathering carts points to the other door.  By this time I am soaked and it is 10 min. to 5:00 already.  I text the guy, and he was actually relieved because now he could get his cup of coffee while he waits for me.

I walk into Walmart and get to the lights...sure enough, $50!  Really? These silly things are $20 at the other store...what gives...isn't this Wally-World!  I relent and decide that I can bring them back if I don't use them, so I will do everything I can to not use them.

I finally get there and we head back to the poles.  Hmmm...this doesn't look to bad.  HA HA,  famous last words!

The guy calls in one of his off-duty farm hands.  This guys had plans this afternoon, and was sleeping in because of the rain, but he finally reluctantly came in.  Turns out, he was the PERFECT guy to drive this front loader!  He was a native Arizonan with a Native American ancestry.  He was VERY dark skinned from working in the sun, on this farm, for the last 20 years.

The front loader already had hooks welded to the top of the bucket, and the chains were sitting in the bucket.  Hmmm..maybe they have done this before?  I guess so...they had so many tractors, both "normal" sized and VERY VERY LARGE ONES!  I about wet my pants when I saw all this hardware!  I was like a kid in a candy store...only it was like mom being there telling me to keep my hands off.  Oh well I still had a blast!

So we start loading these things on the trailer and it becomes apparent very quickly that we will have to make multiple trips.  The guy decides to get his truck hooked up to his car hauler and we also load that trailer.  Great, he is going to follow me down, now I don't have to worry about the lights.  The only problem is I will have to come back and get the last of it because they didn't even fit on two trailers!  BTW, did I mention it is about 9:30 at this point?  He has to leave at noon and his farm hand has to leave at 1:00.

So, we get down to my place with the first run.  Now the fun part.  How do we get those logs off his trailer with no tractor!  Well...this turned out to not be a big deal either as we had a Bronco and some chains.  Yep, you guessed it, a redneck moment is about to hit again!  Wrap the chain around a log and yank!  We got them all off and headed for my trailer.  Mine was MUCH easier as it is a flat bed.  They just rolled right off!

Now we head back up to his place.  I stop by the bank on the way because I haven't had time to get the cash yet.  I pay him and we get to finishing up.  We start cutting the first log and would you believe the newly sharpened chainsaw chain is dull again.  Crap, now what do I do.  I convince them to take me up to True Value down the street, and sure enough, they have 3 brand new chains for my saw in stock!  I bought the farm hand a coke and took the entire stock of chains.  Yep...I'll just bring back what I don't use, but I can't afford to have this be a problem again.

Now...here is a good point to tell you that all morning I have been having problems getting straight cuts.  I told the farm hand after the first cut that I must need some coffee or something.  He said: "Yea, I know, there's a McDonald's down the street to get an ice coffee at".  Of course I answered something to the affect of how "anti productive" THAT would be...first off, it's an ICED COFFEE.  That in-and-of itself is an oxymoron in my book!  Anyway the second cut was also crooked.  This time I blame it on: "my eyes must be crooked".  To that he was just about rolling in the dirt from laughing so hard.  Then the third one and I start blaming it on the chain being dull or something.  Any bets on if he bought that one or not?  Yea...I wouldn't take that bet either.  Anyway, after we got the new chain I had a particularly crooked cut.  He comments: "Well...at least the cuts are getting straighter!"  Of course I immediately come back with: "Either your eyes must be getting crooked too, or you are getting more full of sh*t!"  He just laughed and walked away.  I am beginning to really like this guy and his sense of humor.

Anyway, this new chain cuts like butter!  We get it done and load up the last of my trailer.  By the time I am done, the new chain is almost dull again.  These things are not very gentle on chains!

The guy offers to follow me down since I don't have lights, but I assure him that hand signals will be fine, and I take my chance.  Sure enough, I have no problems.  As a matter of fact, I absolutely love my new truck, trailer, and saw!  These things perform very well, and this truck is a hauling monster! You can hardly tell there is anything connected back there (until you try to stop, but who needs to do that ;) ).

Anyway, now I have a stack of poles as you can see below.  I am about as sore today as my muscles would allow (a good hurt).  Now I have to figure out what to do with all of these!  I do know we want the entry, and maybe even 3 entries.  I also know I want a gantry at the entrance of my shed.  This is to hook a block and tackle up to for lifting things off the trailer.  It will also make a good door stop for the shed doors, and provide a little bit of personalization to the property.  Finally, we are going to line the drive with them to help keep water directed away and also provide a more "homey" feel.

Here is the picture of most the days stash (note there is another pile on the other side behind the trailer):

Yep...one big job leads to another set of big jobs!  I can't wait to start placing them!

Angels are looking after you

This story actually started a couple of weeks ago when I found out about a website called freecycle.org.  I'm not advertising for or against this site, but in this case it worked out for me.  When I first signed on, I ran across an old post advertising mobile home wheels for free.  Since I use those on my water trailer I decided to pick them up...the worst that could happen is I would have to get rid of them.  I got them home and immediately threwthem in the shed, not needing them right at the moment.

Well...a couple of days ago I traded my Chevy Astro for a Ford F250 flat bed truck.  In the course of doing the transaction, and talking a LOT (we are both chatter boxes apparently), the guy mentioned that I could have an old water storage tank he has sitting around, and that he had an old towing receiver hitch for the F250, and that he would simply give those to me if I could use them.  SCORE!

Well...we continued talking and discussing things that we could trade.  He mentioned a big ol' trailer that he has, and I said...hey...wanna trade it?  His wife was standing right there and lit up.  Apparently this trailer has been there for quite some time, and her and their son were ready to get it out of there.  He was hesitant, but I sent him my list of stuff, he picked out an old utility trailer, a cargo carrier, and an air compressor in trade for the trailer.  He was also willing to give me a brand spankin' new 10,000lb winch for it for $300.  Hmmm...let me think about that for all of about....oh....1/3rd of a second!  HECK YA!

So this thing is a triple (yes 3, not 2) axle trailer that has mobile home wheels on it.  He is pretty sure 4 of the wheels are good, but 2 are questionable.  Well...today comes and I load up any decent spare mobile home wheels/tires, all of the things he wanted, my bucket of tools and my bucket of tie downs and head over there after work.

I get almost to his place and to an ATM for the cash part, and I get a call from him.  He says he has been working all day to get that out of his yard (he had various problems) but he succeeded and got the 5th tire to hold air.  The 6th one was in decent shape, but the bead was broken, and he can't get it to seat.  Well...no matter, we'll see if mine fits, and if not, I am sure it will be just fine to get home on 4 tires, or even two.  Well...low and behold, mine actually holds air, and is the correct size!  I let his son slap that puppy on the trailer and it looks great!  I actually have all six tires usable!

We get all the formalities taken  care of, titles swapped, cash traded, etc, and he says that I can keep the tool box that's on the trailer (SCORE 2).  It fits nicely on the tongue.  Next he has his son, and a couple of friends that happened to be over at the time, pull all of this pool fencing out of the back yard and load it on the trailer (SCORE 3).  Mrs. Teknosmurf wants it for her garden.  Then, he says his neighbor down the street is getting rid of one of those 1-Step slide/playground things for free.  Guess where we headed next...SCORE 4!  I tell you what...this guy is really making my week!  At the very end he comes out with a brand new, heavy duty trailer jack AND a rotating mechanism for it, and hands it to me.  Really?  THANKS DUDE!  SCORE 5!

Well...I leave to go pick up that play set, and realize that at 20mph there is a substantial bouncing from the trailer.  I slow back down and it stops.  I confirm one more time.  Then I think...maybe this is just a one speed thing.  Sure enough, at about 25mph it stops completely and is smooth sailing.  I still check the wheels when I stop at the play set...just to be sure.  It is pretty obviously an "empty trailer bounce" and at that speed, everything lines up, synchronizes, and oscillates just right.

After loading up the play set we say our goodbyes and I start strapping it down.  While doing so, some lady drives by and rolls down her window and says: "There is another one of those play sets down the street and round the corner if you are interested...go get it".  OK, cool, thanks!  Well...I couldn't stop by because I needed to get to the kids Gymnastics, followed by an appointment for Mrs. Tekno.  Besides...one was enough.  After strapping it down, I ease out onto the road, and increase speed slowly on the major street...yea...I'm holding up traffic...I also have a Ford Bronco and a massive triple axle trailer, what you gonna do 'bout it???

Well...everything is fine, and I even am able to basically do 60 or 65 down the freeway with no problems.  Trailer tracks straight as an arrow, it's just really friggin' heavy!  As I said, everything is fine...until...

...I get about 5 miles from the Little Tekno's gymnastics (which is clear across town at this point) and the temperature gauge on the mighty Bronco starts climbing rapidly...hmmm...that's not supposed to happen.  I immediately turn off the Air Conditioner and start to pull over to the side and the engine light comes on...hmmm..really not good.  I see a small side street ahead, so I make a bee-line for it.  Just as I turn the corner, the engine completely shuts down and I coast to the dirt side.  OK...this just got interesting.  I have a humongoid trailer attached (and did I mention the jack is broken at the moment, so I can't disconnect it easily?) a dead Bronco, and an appointment that I have to be at for Mrs. Teknosmurf in an hour and a half.  Better start making some phone calls.

I find the broken coolant hose buried deep in the engine compartment (it can't be on top of course...Murphy works very well with rednecks!) coming from a small manifold.  I get Mrs. Tekno headed this way with some extra anti-freeze while I start looking into what I can do to fix this problem.  The crack was right at a bend in the hose.  I did everything I could think of including cutting some heater core hose out and wrapping the leaking hose, plastic bottles cut into strips to wrap around the crack, shortening the offending hose and stretching...nothing was working.  By this time Mrs. Teknosmurf is here and waiting for me...so at least I won't be eaten by vultures or something stupid, and someone will find  my body if I die of heat in this 108 degrees!

Well...I start to pack things up and close up the hood thinking that I will just leave everything and go to the auto parts store on the way back from the appointment.  I turn around, and see something sticking out of the ground.  I pull it up and would you believe it is coolant hose about 4 feet long, and basically brand spanking new!  I dig the cracked hose back out and low-and-behold it is the correct hose!  I can't believe my friggin' luck here!  I dig out my safety wire and twist pliers I have in my tool kit, and use that for hose clamps.  Apparently the clamps that were on the old hose were one-time use only as they distort when they are used.  I fill up the radiator with coolant...spilling half of it on the ground because of a lack of funnel, and fire it up.  IT IS HOLDING!  I turn the "rig" around and park it better so I can leave it for a while.  It's going to be cutting it close to get to that appointment now.

OK honey...let's go...we'll stop by afterward and pick this stuff up.  We race (and if any cops are reading, I mean we did the speed limit and no more) to the appointment.  She walks in and they tell her that the doctor had an emergency at the hospital, and is not in the plant.  We will have to reschedule.  OK...it would have been nice to know BEFORE this stuff happened, but at least we can deal with the Bronco in the daylight!

Sure enough, the redneck fix holds pretty well, and gets us home (with a pit stop for some food).  The trailer is working out well...but would have been better, and actually been used for what I am intending it for if I had the receiver the guy gave me was actually ON the F250 the guy traded me, and the working jack that they guy gave me was installed so I could put the trailer from one vehicle to the other, and the winch (yep...that the guy gave me) hooked up so I could winch the Bronco onto the trailer and simply drive it home.  Oh well, I guess we will have to go that route the next time the Bronco fails (knocking on wood).

I relayed the short version of this story to the guy via text with emphasis on the whole finding of the correct hose laying at my feet.  His response was "Angels are looking after you".  I guess he was right.  Someone really had my back today!  It's just a really good thing the wife had her phone charged and actually had it on her today!  Thanks Babichkin!